Yo mama, got a peg leg with kick stand! Well not really, but you could do with some wood grain leggings. Yes you heard me, THEASE ARE FREAKIN WOOD GRAIN LEGGINGS. I designed this wood grain pattern printed it on spandex and am tempting you to cover yer bum and legs with em.

These are made to order and take about 5 days to complete.
They feature a flattering high waist that can be rolled down and have a 34" inseam. The sizes are as follows.
XSAMLL Waist 23-24"
SMALL Waist 25-26"
MEDIUM Waist 27-28"
LARGE Waist 30-32"
XLARGE Waist 33-35"

These are made in a limited edition of 30, because it would totally suck if this was the new uniform...well maybe not for me, but for you the consequences could be devastating.